He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she told me i tasted like america
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize