I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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