I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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