WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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