is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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