and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
