the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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