And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
