recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
