Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
