So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
