Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I AM VODKA MAN
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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