Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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