He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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