I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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