i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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