I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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