Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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