Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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