Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
