do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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