We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
