Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
