??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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