I skipped work to stalk him.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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