He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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