When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
How's work?
Spinning.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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