just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
