Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
