Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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