so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
