I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
