It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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