Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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