I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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