the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
