There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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