I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do vagina's smell?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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