Apparently you make a good broom.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
