Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
