i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize