nut hugger
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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