This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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