I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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