Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I could make wine with my vomit
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
