you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
