Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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