I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
