how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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