Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
