No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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