Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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