she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
