why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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