i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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