Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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