if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
