Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
