I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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