He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
