if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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