Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
