I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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